Traveling to visit family brings up lots of emotions – good and bad. Hallmark cards and holiday movies don’t help. We feel pressured to have the Norman Rockwell family, and yet our picture of family looks vastly different.

This year I encourage a different approach to the holidays. Consider it a mission trip!   Think about all that goes into a mission trip – the excitement building, months of preparation, team building, conflict resolution skills, and more. We can take these skills and use them to their fullest potential when approaching our own families this holiday season. Waste nothing, especially an opportunity to shine, even if you are entering hostile territory.  If your territory is considered safe, make sure your skills are sharpened and packed so that you can quickly wield them in a way to stop even the most dangerous terrorist. Most families have at least one. 

 As 46.9 million Americans prepare to travel this week here are a few suggestions for making the trip. 

 Pack Light

I mean, who enjoys packing?! And we take enough clothes to stay a month! My motto is  “A girl’s gotta have options,” but…don’t be THAT girl. Just pack everything you think you need and then remove half of it. You’re all set! Don’t forget at least one pair of pants with an expandable waistline – just in case.

 Search your heart

Are you going on this little jaunt for you to have a ‘great experience’ and be served? Or are you going to be reminded of how grateful you are for your family and what they mean to you? To serve others, to listen and to love on the hurting broken people you might just encounter around that Thanksgiving meal? Remember, whatever your situation, God’s not finished. Last time I checked, He is still redeeming. You are part of a larger story; it’s not all about you and your week.

 Listen

Stop and listen to the stories. Yes, even the ones you have heard a hundred times. Really listening might give you insights that you have overlooked. Take notes and ask thoughtful questions. Listening communicates, ‘You matter to me and you matter to God’.

 Embrace Grace

God chose you as part of your family. I know, you are the smarter, wiser, more Bible-savvy one of the bunch, but He picked you. He has graciously chosen you, so be gracious. Being gracious is not what you accidentally become. It takes practice, so start early, work on your mind-set and ask God for help.  

 Leave. 

This is your tribe, leave them wanting more and hoping you will return soon. Leave letting them know you are standing in the gap for whatever opportunities your tribe offers; healing, be it physical, emotional, or spiritual. Leave them hungry for what they see in you that has nothing to do with the abundance of food left on the table. Leave Grateful. The food may have expanded our waistline but nothing expands our hearts like being grateful. 

 Now go, enjoy your family and Happy Thanksgiving!

I’ve been taking a class this summer, Christian Coaching, and it has messed with me in every way possible. For those who know me well you have heard me say that ‘it’s hard to be me’. For these last nine weeks that would be putting it mildly! This class has challenged everything in me.

As we began our journey, our instructor, a master coach, told us that the class would be a different journey for each one. She kept telling us to ‘Enjoy the Journey’. I did the polite head-nod-and-smile thinking “yeah, yeah, yeah, on to the next thing.” Bottom line—I planned to go thru the class, check my boxes for the classroom time, homework assignments and other random activities to get my certification and just move right on. Well! What was I thinking??? I spent the first few weeks trying to check boxes, take the assessments and move ahead toward graduation day. Nothing came easy, not even sleep! What was wrong with me? None of the material was really new, after all I do work at a church! (insert eye rolls here) But last week was different. I took a week off to catch up on homework and really dig deep into this material. What I learned was difficult and beautiful. Here’s what I have learned thus far:

1. Fear can take many forms and stop you in your tracks.
2. It’s easy to be good at your job and overlook the health of your soul.
3. Pride disguises itself in many ways.
4. Perfectionism is the mother of procrastination.
5. To see change you need to stare thru the darkness and focus on the light.
6. You have to come out of hiding to be in the presence of the Lord.
7. Little things destroy your confidence. “Do not throw away your confidence—it will be richly rewarded” (Hebrews 10:35-36)
8. Persistence is necessary for change.
9. Change is hard work.
10. Most things that worry you will never happen.

So, as I take an intermission at the halfway point in this class, I am grateful. Grateful for what I have learned, for the people I have met and for what’s ahead. As I reflect on these last nine weeks I’ve concluded that sometimes you are Moses and sometimes you are the burning bush. Right now, I’m burning! At least I won’t be consumed. I’m just burning off the excess and pruning away everything unfruitful….everything hinges on that!

As I think about this week, the one leading from a triumphal entry to a cross and an empty tomb, I was stopped as I read John 18. Peter, that impulsive one who had just a few hours earlier felt the need to defend Jesus and lopped off the ear of a soldier, now stood waiting to see what would happen to the man he followed and claimed he would not deny.

The scripture says he followed Jesus, along with another disciple, and since the other disciple was known to the high priest, he entered with Jesus while Peter “stood outside at the door.” He found himself on the outside looking in.  Looking in at the one who changed his life, the one who saw more in him than anyone else, the one who knew him and loved him anyway–that one. As he looked in, not really in the game, just gazing to see what would happen next, he allowed doubt to enter in the form of a question, “You also are not one of this man’s disciples, are you?” and as doubt does, he quickly answered “I am not.”

The servants and officers of the high priest had built a fire to warm themselves. Peter found himself drawn to the chatter, the crackling and warmth of the fire, hoping to be included rather than stand out. He inched his way toward them and could hear the questions, the sarcasm and ridicule of the one called Jesus.  He hoped they would not notice him. He had left the place of being on the outside looking in to ‘standing and warming himself’, hoping to blend in. Again, one of the servants questioned him, “You also are not one of his disciples, are you?” and doubt raised its ugly head once again. He denied it and said, “I am not.”

In both instances Peter is close, close to the savior but not engaged. First he is standing alone at the door looking in and then he is standing with the group by the fire hoping to blend in and stay warm. In both locations he is close enough to see what’s happening but far enough away to play it safe. As Good Friday and Easter Sunday approach, Where Do You Stand?

The season of Lent, practiced in churches and denominations around the world begins this week. These six weeks are set-aside for the purpose of drawing closer to God; to seek Him with great intensity.  In the denomination where I grew up, we did not practice Lent.  It was not until I became an adult that I first practiced what was reduced to, “What are you giving up for Lent”.  That question is a great start, but leaning into the season and meaning of Lent, one soon has to ask “How will I repent and return to God with all my heart?”  And from there the real questions that begs answers, “Where in my life have I gotten away from God?  Where have I strayed and how do I renew my passion in the cold places of my heart?”

For the next six weeks my church launches a new small group alignment series, Make Room.  It is designed for one purpose – to help you carve out space for God.  To meet him, to experience him, to quiet the distractions and pay attention to your relationship with God, who is calling us to return to him.  It sounds a lot like Lent.  Same time frame, same outcome.  We can’t make God move, but we can make room.

 “‘And yet even now,’ says the Lord, ‘return to me with all your heart . . .’”—Joel 2:12

From my home to yours…

Hinge: A movable joint or mechanism on which a door, gate, or lid swings as it opens and closes, or that connects linked objects.

It’s a small thing really. A small thing that opens into big spaces. It’s the hinge points that move and bend, open and close, allow for entry or keep one out. Welcome. The hinge is moving, hope you chose to enter.